18/7/08

El aviso

Cuando en mis inocentes y juveniles 23 años me dí cuenta de que estaba embarazada tuve dos reacciones. Un lado de mi cerebro decía FELICIDAD-FELICIDAD-FELICIDAD. El otro lado gritaba PELIGRO-HUIDA-SOCORRO-PELIGRO.

Pero una, por suerte, es mujer. Así que hechada pa´ delante, como somos todas, salí del baño con la prueba de embarazo en mano a vociferar mi incipiente maternidad.

En la sala se encontraba tirado en el sillón mirando la tele (más no el fútbol!!. Evídienme, soy de las pocas que tienen un espécimen al que no le apasiona el fútbol!!!) el progenitor del primogénito. El que, como él dice, puso los planos y yo la manufactura. (Lo que no sabe es que yo rediseñe, mejore los planos y cree el hermoso hijo que tenemos).

El susodicho "diseñador" estaba en realidad haciéndose el que veía la tele. Porque la mera verdad es que estaba aterrado ante el resultado. Y en su cerebro una parte decía TERROR- TERROR- TERROR y la otra mitad gritaba TERROR-TERROR- TERROR!!!!

Tan petrificado estaba ante la idea que por más que saltaba frente a la imágenes de discovery channel, el tipo no reaccionaba!!! Así que tuve mi primera acción maternal, mi primera práctica profesional antes de graduarme como madre nueves meses mas tarde.

Recuerdo haber apagado la tele, sentarme junto a él y mostrarle con paciencia divina el rectángulo blanco con ventanita que mostraba dos líneas rosas. Y con vos dulce, reconfortante y pausada le dije:

- mirá guero. Ves estas dos líneas? Eso quiere decir que estoy embarazada.
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- entonces, mi amor, voy a ser mamá y vos vas a ser papá.
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- Bueno, guerito, vos quedate acá tranquilo que todo va a estar bien. Si? Querés que te ponga la tele otra vez?
- ..... - medio movió la cabeza diciendo que sí.

Dos semanas después el tipo seguía sin reaccionar. Su mejor amigo se enteró que iba a ser "tío" hasta la tercera semana, cuando entre charla y charla de grillos (política) le susurró su próxima paternidad.

Al principio pensé que el tipo lo que menos quería era ser papá. Pero cuando al fin le cayó el veinte y se le pasó el susto tuvo las reacciones típicas del primerizo.

- Gueera, no cargues esa bolsa que te va a ser daño!
- Pero si sólo tiene una bolsa de pan!!! dejáte de joder!

59 comentarios:

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Alfonso!
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Leí todo el blog recién y debo decir que me gustó,me sentí identificada x momentos y me divertí con eso.Si sirve de consuelo los hijos crecen más rápido de lo q nos damos cuenta ,así q aprovechalos,un viejo dicho hijos chicos problemas chicos ,hijos grandes ,problemas grandes.Es verdad de perogrullo ,ay nena si te contara !

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Hola Gabita... qué honor saber que te leiste todo el blog! Bienvenida

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